Zealous Believer Gifts

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Holy water, holy water...."

'The Bear' pub, changed to 'The Bull.'

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

"Your recovery has defied all known science...so let's just keep this between ourselves!"

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Miracles on 34th Street.

'You had a good idea in our staff meeting yesterday. So, the church sent someone over to witness the miracle.'

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'Hey, Naomi, remember last week when you said nothing short of a miracle could save MicroTechnoCom from bankruptcy?'

'I might be able to get you off if a chain of near miraculous rulings happen to occur.'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

Ray Charles

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

'Perhaps you need a more reverent prayer than, 'Come on, God, help me out.'

Moses Uses God-Given Powers To Protect His Sandcastle

Guardian Angels and Operations

Canadian Jesus

"The best decisions are made when complexity and simplicity meet."

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

'As your Guardian Angel, I want you to know that death is not anything to worry about.'