Believer In Many Gifts

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

Christian and Born again Christian...

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

'Your future looks charming.'

Fairy Vet

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'Church of the Divine Healing with an Emergency Room.'

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

'Hurry! There's not a moment to lose.'

Lourdes - wheelchairs left behind.

"I don't want to sound desperate, but either you transform me with a kiss or I end up dissected in a ninth-grade science lab."

"Your recovery has defied all known science...so let's just keep this between ourselves!"

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

"I think it's time you ditched the phoney crown and admitted to yourself that princess or no princess, you'll always be a frog."

Miracles on 34th Street.

Give Thanks.

'You had a good idea in our staff meeting yesterday. So, the church sent someone over to witness the miracle.'