Believer In Expiration Miracles Gifts

'Blessed before 20/01/00'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Tiny Visions

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

Welcome: Skeptics Society

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"That's my boy!"

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

Moses gets REALLY lost in the desert.

Fairy Vet

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

Great news! Scientists have cured many, many diseases! They've used new discoveries and innovative techniques to cure inherited liver disease

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'