Beer Balancer Gifts

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'We'll take it!'

'Fitness guru.'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

William Tell's lesser-known first son- Stanislaus Tell.

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

The hour of justice

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

'He has a learning disorder.'

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

Where Cream Ale comes from

'So what if she only brew a few cases a year. We can still do business.'

Anheuser-Busch agrees to US$52 billion sale.

The top half is formula. The bottom half is milk.

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

Gymnasts

Dutch Courage

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

"If Carlo can't maintain a better on-line profile, he'll just have to go..."

"It's a new tally board I've been using. For every random act of kindness I perform, I allow myself three really spiteful acts of nastiness!"

'You wash, I'll dry.'

'I'm worried Tom has a drinking problem.'

"It's beer flavored prune juice."

"Wow, Tia Carmen...that's amazing! How do you do it?"

Furthest bounced drunk.

'No, I am not buying you Homebrewing Barbie! Your father will end up playing with it more than you!'

Hunter-Gatherer-Entertainer

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

Bath Juggler

The Drinker.