Beef Oracle Gifts

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Eat Beef

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

The Authentic Christmas.

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

Power/Expenditures

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

Hipster Police Department

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"Too much to drink, a tattoo parlor, a dare and..."

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

"The Great Source keeps afloat, along with a little help from the sharks there."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Man painting a cow

'Looks like the gods are angry.'

Cattle Crossing: Choice and Prime.

Cattle barons for world domination.

"Is that what you're wearing?"

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

'Yeah, I know, but let's face it - we're delicious!'

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"Rats! It's already tenderized."

"The working conditions don't bother me half so much as the retirement plan."

"The abattoir hasn't any butchers so you'll have to help yourself a bit more than usual."

'The bad news is we have to amputate your liver - the good news is it'll be great with onions!'