Bedtime Ritual Lover Pillows

"No, I want a story I already know all the words to."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

Bedtime story.

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

Father nursing his sick child

The Tooth Ferret

Fairtale prosecutions.

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

fairy tales

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

'... I couldn't remember if I had switched off the light!'

'You see? There are no Wall Street millionaires under your bed.'

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"I love wearing a sleeper. It's like I can walk around tucked in."

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

Monster fixing boy's car bed.

Please take them off

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."