Bedtime Ritual Enthusiast Pillows

'Once upon a time...'

"Hey, wanna get kinky and read each other's catalogues?"

' I need another good night kiss cause the first one didn't stick.'

'I'm really tired, daddy. Can we discuss irony tomorrow night?'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

Bedtime story.

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

So Far So Good

Father nursing his sick child

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

The Tooth Ferret

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

"He can't be disturbed right now. He's in a meeting with his first cup of coffee."

'... I couldn't remember if I had switched off the light!'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"I love wearing a sleeper. It's like I can walk around tucked in."

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

Please take them off

Sleeping masks

"No, I want a story I already know all the words to."

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

Father reading a bedtime story to his daughter.

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

"Stop fact checking my story."

"Oh, he's a darling alright: he gets up early every spring and gets me a freshly brewed coffee for when I wake up...