Bedtime Punster Gifts

"Yes, well not all Kings are Kingsize!"

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Veloci-Rapper

Note Book

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

Beauty and the Baste

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

"Damn autocorrect!"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'I'm calling my invention 'IPO'.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

"For all we know, a giant meteor could fall out of the sky and eradicate us all. So what do you say we make a little prehistory together?"

The Flirtateous Period

Hamlet.

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

'Evolution sounds good in theory, but what if we get overqualifed?'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'