Bedtime Punster Pillows

"Yes, well not all Kings are Kingsize!"

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Veloci-Rapper

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Note Book

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Beauty and the Baste

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

"Damn autocorrect!"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'I'm calling my invention 'IPO'.'

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

The Flirtateous Period

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Hamlet.

'Evolution sounds good in theory, but what if we get overqualifed?'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Grok's Black Hole Theory