Bedtime Jurist Gifts

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Well did he?"

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Think about the honey."

Father nursing his sick child

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

'Do you have bottled spring water?'

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

"Must you bring your work to bed?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

'Once upon a time...'

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

"I see a huge spider on the wall ... whatever you do, do not move!"

'I'm really tired, daddy. Can we discuss irony tomorrow night?'

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

"I have no idea why Stuart Little’s mother is human — don’t overthink it."