Bedtime Fan Pillows

"Looks like it's going to be a nice day."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

At the market

Monsters won't eat you if they're not hungry. So, each night, Mom makes it a sandwich. If I keep my room tidy.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'

'I'm terribly sorry. I thought it said 'gods'.'

Easter Bonnet

'It takes all day to eat it.'

News Wear World

"We moved here for the schools."

'I'll take the S. O. S. breakfast special...hold the shingle.'

'. . . and in the twinkling of an eyes, the festive feeding frenzy began.'

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

"Yeah, you were Tolkein in your sleep. . ."

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

My dad's teaching me how to mow the lawn, fish and use the grill, I'm teaching how to Google, text and use an ipod.

'I've only got two numbers to go on the bingo!'

Ahh, Chicken Soup

Spring Onion

'Wednesday wave.'

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

Bed & Breakfast

"The wrangler within wants pancakes."