Bedtime Economist Gifts

'Everyone lived happily ever after? Was the Stock at an all time high then, like it is now?'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Sub-prime Bear

"Well did he?"

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"Think about the honey."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"I have made some notes about last night's story, that I would like you to clarify."

"I have no idea why Stuart Little’s mother is human — don’t overthink it."

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

Toys. Dolls. $28.95. Sir, you sell these baby dolls for $28.95?! Who knew having a kid could be so expensive!

"See you in the morning."

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

"Don't get your hopes up, Buster."

Little Marjorie in Delusionland

'I'll only be using it as a night light.'

'...Now just key in your safety pin number...'

'Sleep on it. That's your answer to everything.'

'Seriously, dad, you can't expect an A level performance on a D level allowance!'

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."