Economic Bedtime Story Aficionado Gifts

Sub-prime Bear

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

Business News.

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

Fairtale prosecutions.

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

Those who fail to learn from the past will be forced to relive it.

Pandora's box.

'You see? There are no Wall Street millionaires under your bed.'

"And so, with thee help of their relate counsellor, they lived happily ever after..."

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would make a great reality show."

Monster fixing boy's car bed.

"She then bit into the poison apple, hoping it would fend off the hostile takeover."

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

"Any other refrences besides the Three Bears?"

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

"She always gets the upper bunk."

Bear Porridge

"So, did Little Red Riding Hood have really bad eyesight or something?"

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

When hunters read bedtime stories.

" 'Goodnight room. Goodnight moon.' "