Bedtime Battle Strategist Gifts

"Go to sleep or someday important people will fail to notice you and you will die in tragic obscurity."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"Stag poker"

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Houston, we have a problem!"

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

Stop hogging the sheets

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

'Do you have bottled spring water?'

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

The Force of Example.

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

Bob takes care of this monster-under-the-bed business once and for all.

'There are four reasons for him to cry...he's hungry, he's wet, a pin is sticking him, or he wants to wake you up from a sound sleep.'

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

'Can you leave the light on? It's hard to sleep with the dark shining in my eyes.'

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

A sleeping man counting scuba-diving sheep

'We just have to win this account, Barbara and I have another litter on the way!'

"See you in the morning."

'Early to bed and early to rise. I like a saying with an escape clause.'

Napquest

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."