Bedspread Whisperer Gifts

A man adjusts his pillow so the stripes match his bedspread.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

My other cello is a Stradivari

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

Violin Practise

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Interactive TV news.'

Happy Violinist

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"Dunhomin"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

Don't have nightmares!

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"Next year we are committed to having a paperless office, and this is how we are going to do it."

It's worse than you think, it goes down to the third floor.

'It's agreed, Members of the board will not take certain aspects of the annual report too personally.'

Cello player has an audience of cats.

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

That special place in heaven reserved for undiscovered composers, writers and artists.

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

Alas, poor Yorick!

"Well which do you think is more likely, your pillow is growing hair or you're losing yours?"

'Say, I like that! What is it?'

Knead Dough? Apply Here!

'The only one who likes it when you're singing in the shower is our neighbour... the glazier!'

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

Artist Paints Sale

'Wake up honey, you're roaring again.'