Bedroom Jokester Pillows

"I drink to forget."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Laptop Dancing.

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Turn off your car stereo before trying to start your kid's car.

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

His & hers towels.

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!

Onion operation.

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

Business man sees himself as a shark

The only Washroom on the South Pole.

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

"Hurry up Dad, I need the loo!"

Batman tissue dispenser.