Kitchen Jokester Pillows

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Caveman trying to light a gas oven by rubbing a stick into it

Tuna Helper Assistant

'Push the chicken.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."

"I think it's the spoon you want, I'm a confirmed spatula."

'Hurry down here before your breakfast gets hot!'

Chef buying frozen ready meals.

Onion operation.

"You sure this is garbage? It smells better than what you're cooking."

"Are you sure you don't want to sing?"

"Your husband's pot roast is heavenly. It takes an eternity to chew it."

"Thank you for the chicken and thank you for the rice. Thanks for the spinach available on request."

'Blackened Fish: Cook until the smoke detector goes off.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Soup of the month.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Bangers and Mash

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."