Bedroom Jockey Gifts

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

Fight on the top

Biting Slippers.

Bed Fellow

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

'My member requires some interest.'

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Consolidation is tearing us apart.'

'Don't hurt it.'

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

'Paradise awaits pauline Norris' man in bed with a mask on

New Karma Sutra: No.1 The Begging Position.

Chicane