Bedroom Humorist Gifts

"He's been more active in the bedroom since he put the dartboard up."

'Gravity wins - again.'

"Honey, you're snoring."

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

'My member requires some interest.'

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

' Dave - I need you to give me more space.'

We're looking for something small and uncomfortable...it's for the guest room.

Yesterday, the warranty on the Wilsons' waterbed expired

Chicane

Bed Fellow

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Wok. Don't Wok.

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'I was in the catering corps.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

His & hers towels.

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

The only Washroom on the South Pole.

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Amy Sedaris

Business man sees himself as a shark

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Avocado Timeline

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."