Bedroom Artist Pillows

Tedious Romantic.

Eclectic Blanket

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Duvet nailed to the floor.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

'This is my natural habitat.'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

Football addict

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

Wine Lovers

Kid's at Bath Time.

"Dang it."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress... Should last for years...'