Bedroom Artist Gifts

Tedious Romantic.

Eclectic Blanket

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Duvet nailed to the floor.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

'This is my natural habitat.'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

'We'll take it!'

Football addict

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

Wine Lovers

Kid's at Bath Time.

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

"Dang it."

'Tom, Roscoe has been with me for nine years. You have been with me only two years. When the sad day comes that Roscoe passes on, THEN you can move to this end of the bed.'

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Don't hurt it.'