Bedroom Stylist Gifts

'OK, the bedspread doesn't do it for you. What's your formula for arousal?'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Tedious Romantic.

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

Gender Specific Bath Towels (Hers)

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

Football addict

The trouble with memory foam beds.

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

'We couldn't agree on the wallpaper.'

Wine Lovers

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"You know your dog better than I do."

"Dang it."

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

"When your memory foam mattress forgets."

"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'

Extremes meet - A very tall guest is shown to a short bed.