Bathroom Stylist Gifts

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

Gender Specific Bath Towels (Hers)

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"I'm thinkin' blond."

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

WC problem.

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

'The old one fell apart.'

Mummy Toilet Roll.

'We couldn't agree on the wallpaper.'

Knight using the men's bathroom.

Kid's at Bath Time.

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

"You know your dog better than I do."

How men shop for towels.

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber with the second bathroom saved our marriage."

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

'You don't hear the bath water running because I'm taking a sponge bath, mom.'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

Which one of these things is the soap?

"Morning Gorgeous!"

"Skip the job description and tell me how clean and well-lighted your bathrooms are!"