Bedding Lover Gifts

What kind of pillows are those? Down, boy! I've been waiting years to say that! (Published originally on Feb. 17, 2014.)

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Electric Blanket.

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"Look, I still fit into the fitted sheet I wore when we met."

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

'We'll take it!'

Try not to hog all the blankets tonight.

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"Wow, you're right, Alpaca Wool is very nice against the skin..."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"Sheets and pillowcases, Franz, we're selling sheets and pillowcases!. . ."

'Pillow too soft?'

'It's the latest weave - comes off in the hand.'

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'

Sheet Music

How Snakes Sleep.

Ghost appears to be struggling within sheet. Fellow ghost says: 'I warned you never to use fitted sheets.'

"Were we expecting the Worsteds?"

"Don't worry. The button is purely decorative."

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

Memory-foam pillows...

"Bed Clothes"

New! Corduroy Pillows! They're making headlines!

'You are very giving... except with pillows.'

"Why can't duvets be square?"