Beauty Vs Reality Commentator Gifts

"The body of a supermodel and not a touch of cellulite...life isn't fair!"

Miss America IQ Pageant

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

The return of Miss Subways

"I got Golden Ash Blond No. 334, just like you said."

Hospital gown pageant.

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

Martina Klein

Renaissance Zone

Bar Refaeli

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Toilet roll beauty tips.

'An important update..'

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

Circus Pageant

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Romee Strijd caricature

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

Katy Perry

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'