Beauty Vs Reality Commentator Pillows

"The body of a supermodel and not a touch of cellulite...life isn't fair!"

Miss America IQ Pageant

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"I got Golden Ash Blond No. 334, just like you said."

The return of Miss Subways

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Toilet roll beauty tips.

Renaissance Zone

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

Romee Strijd caricature

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

Circus Pageant

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."