Beauty Ideal Commentator Pillows

"Are you kidding? I'd kill to have your warts."

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Animal cosmetic testing

Renaissance Zone

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Toilet roll beauty tips.

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

Bar Refaeli

Martina Klein

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

Romee Strijd caricature

Katy Perry

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

"In my culture it is very important to have straight teeth."

Got anything in high definition?

Lara Catherina Stone

"No, he hasn't lost weight. It's the size he expects to be in next year."

What puberty used to do. What puberty apparently does now.

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

'Hey, awesome jacket, Melanie! Suede?'

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I'm suck if this pressure to be beautiful all the time."

'Don't worry about those craters. Photoshop can take care of them."

Man wearing boxer shorts being tossed out of Café with waiter adding 'No Pants, No Service' to window sign.