Bearer Of Cold Climates Gifts

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Ice Fishing

'It's the abominable snowman!'

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

"Fish needs bigger hole."

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

Trawling for Fish.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'Wait! Don't get in. . . It's totally cold.'

Running out of Gas.

'Well, so much for whale-whispering.'

The Heating Oil Problem.

Football fan

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

'Honey, I'm looking fat in white!' 'Trust me, dear. In a few months, the pounds will be melting away.'

"Yes, it's true we have 17 words for 'snow', but only one way of saying, 'I'm really tired of hearing that same question'."

"Lower and to the left...AHHHHH!"

Polar bear produces snowflakes as he plays a musical instrument.

Ice Whaling

Oh yeah, that's right. Now everyone wants to know the radiator cow.

'Am I shivering or giggling?'

'Yes, we could use someone with your talents!'

Igloo Building.

"We switched over. It’s cheaper, and polls show sinners are far more miserable in a cold climate."