Beard Guru Gifts

Baby clinging to beard

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

The adoration of the gels.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Dating is so expensive...

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Be creative...!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Too much concealer?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

wattle covers

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

The Beard in the Stone

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Curling your hair for no reason

"Nice haircut."