Beard Guru Gifts

Baby clinging to beard

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

The adoration of the gels.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Dating is so expensive...

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Too much concealer?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Be creative...!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

wattle covers

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

The Beard in the Stone

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Curling your hair for no reason

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

Movember

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'