Beachfront Adventurer Gifts

"Just give him the chips, Doris. We were warned that the seagulls around here are aggressive feeders!"

Bitchbark Canoe

Holiday time.

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

Beach Barbecue

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

'Slip Ahoy!'

Fish snorkling above water.

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

'If that's a proposal, I accept!'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"Heads or tails?"

Titanic: How's my steering.

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Guide to Carpentry Fish

Gone Bookkeepin'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'