Beach Season Gifts

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

"I work all winter on my beach body, and everyone still stares at you!"

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Beach con-man.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Holiday time.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Bring your own inflatable.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Working Holiday

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.