Beach Days T-Shirts

'No surf?'

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

"It screams, 'I'm bold, proud, and require ample sun protection.'"

Thank you for showing me your new board, but do you think you could put Grandad back on the mantlepiece?

"I tan easily."

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Beach con-man.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Holiday time.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Thank-you God.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'He lives for his holidays.'

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Bring your own inflatable.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Working Holiday

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket