Beach Day Cautious T-Shirts

Phobia of Water

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Holiday time.

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Beach con-man.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Working Holiday

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

Hiding the electronics.

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Surf Casting

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"