Beach Culture Gifts

"Of course nobody knows exactly why they beach themselves."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

"It's...it's...you! Can I have your autograph?"

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Beach con-man.

Holiday time.

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He lives for his holidays.'

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Working Holiday

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

Florida - Still Gay as F**k