Beach Bars Gifts

'Can I get a Chardonnay over dry ice? I hate it when my wine gets wet.'

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'No ice.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"I think we may be related!"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Dolphin friendly tuna

Beers

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"An everything Martini, please."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'