Beach Avoiders Gifts

'Bah! If I wanted long walks on the beach, I'd get a dog!'

Holiday time.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Summer reading for the family.

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

Sun Worship

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

Child has practiced building sand castles in snow.

Single men in Tahiti

'A bucket and pail would have been enough.'

"Cool bonfire app, man."

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

"This is it? No video?"

"I'd rather be at the office."

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Sex-on-the-Beach?"

'I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked.'

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

"Not exactly a snowman!"

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

"Ey, Salvador, why you no make sandcastles like other kids?"

"Dad can we stop pushing this backdrop and go on a real vacation?"

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

"Well, don't just stand there looking precancerous."

'Umm...guys, this isn't tanning spray.'

Parents shows the sea to their child.

Phantom of the Punch and Judy Show

"No land women want me, so I'm off to try my hand in the sea."

Seafront Hotel.