Bbc Viewers Gifts

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'Einsteiners.'

Horror movies

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

'Universal remote, my eye!'

"Sooner or later you just knew it had to come to this. . ."

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

Pizza delivery boy coming out of the television.

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

Gogglebollox.

'BBC Antics Roadshow'.

Watching TV around the world

Universe Challenge

'The past few months have certainly felt like the end of the world. But what could possibly go wrong now?'

I knew my niche market would someday be validated! It's the blue-eyed, left handed, Sagittarius network!

BBC repeats are for life not just Christmas.

Martin Clunes.

Downton Abbey

'We can expect some showers in the west, sunny conditions in the south and a frog warning up north...!'

"We do have channel blocker, but my kid won't show me how to use it."

'The cost? I would say about 496 telly licences.'

I wish somebody had told me "Prince Charming" is an ironic nickname his fraternity gave him!

The Masterpiece Theatre Gang

The Amiable Reaper.

"Are the kids asleep?"

"Do we want to subscribe to the national anthem?"

Michael Buerk

'Sigh ... there's nothing good on in my brain again. Guess I'll just go to bed.'

Sir Alex Ferguson breaks seven-year boycott of the BBC.

Selling Channel 4

Randy;s Man-Lesson: "What you don't know, can't hurt you!"