Batting Whiz Gifts

Gary Sobers

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"You keep impeccable time."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Baseball Dreams

'Make it look like an accident.'

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Here's the artist's conception of your proposed smile."

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

"Come on, Lucky Lady!"

"Be rational."

Exercise Car.

Are you familiar with the phrase "demography is destiny"?

Tennis Player.

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

Alastair Cook

'We want to focus on female customers. That's why we hired him. He is a real expert - women start shouting 'how sweeeet!' as soon as they notice him.'

'I think I've cracked our marketing problem.'

The short pitched ball, and how to handle it

Cricket

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

"Do you need me to write in big letters for you?"

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

'Keep your eye on the ball, Jake! Level swing! Rotate your hips! ... and ease up on the sunflower seeds!'

'Ok, I'll be your spokes person just rub my tummy and it's a deal!'