Batter-up Fan Pillows

"No question, Lefty, you've still got it."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Full English Breakfast.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Turmoil change.

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

Canine Comedians

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Jokes machine.

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Winter in the City

'I haven't been feeling funny lately doctor.'

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"Renovating your bathroom?"

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

'Our limo's here.'