Fixer-upper Fan Pillows

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"Well, you've come to the right guy."

'Well! Well! Look what the cat dragged home!...'

'... But, I don't want to see the potential. I want to see the dream house you promised me.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

'Can't you workmen use the canteen for your tea break ?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Should we buy it or would you prefer to stay married?"

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

Humans are 100% recyclable.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Love your renovations.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

Well paid job

'As you can see, it's a bit of an emergency.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

Nail Ambush