Batter-up Fan Gifts

"No question, Lefty, you've still got it."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Do you buy cars here?"

Full English Breakfast.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Turmoil change.

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Canine Comedians

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Jokes machine.

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Biographies. Don Rickles for Dummies

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

Michael McIntyre.

'I haven't been feeling funny lately doctor.'

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

Winter in the City

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

Rest area - 12 mile.