Batter Gifts

'Naw, I ain't athletic - it's just eye - hand coordination and the heft to hit the long ball.'

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

A street fight.

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'If we took the boat out, it might get dirty or scratched. Can't we sit here for the next several hours and talk about why you accused me of being paranoid?'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

Big Burgers.

"Do you ever wonder what happens to us when we die?"

fish in a bottle...

Too much pepper spells disaster for Nick and Mr. Stickers

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

"What on earth were you thinking when you named your boat?"

Wrestling Champion.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Eating raw cake mix.

"Ahoy!"

'Even though I can swim fast, can stay under water for a long time and come equipped with sonar, this is a lot more fun. Thanks for letting me take it for a ride.'

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

'Dad, all I got are batteries for my birthday!'

'Well, I for one do not believe common courtesy to the host demands deck shoes.'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

'Careful, that's you're own leg you are breaking.'

"Oh my God! We're taking on water, the radio's dead and we need help. Break out the flares!"

Howard's flies make their break.

'So we meet again on the fields of battle.'

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'