Bathtub Safety Enthusiast Gifts

'He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper articles about bathtub injuries.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Baby on board.

On the brink.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Baby Hairstyles.

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

Bagpipes in the bath.

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity