Bathtub Safety Enthusiast Pillows

'He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper articles about bathtub injuries.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Think of it as a big puddle."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Baby Hairstyles.

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bagpipes in the bath.

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'