Bathroom Skills Ringmaster Gifts

Toilet Training

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Circus

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

Boxer's Hair Styles.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Matador.

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

Other men just sing in the bath

'Hoopla!'

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."