Bathroom Skills Ringmaster Gifts

Toilet Training

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

Boxer's Hair Styles.

Matador.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

'Hoopla!'

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

Other men just sing in the bath