Bathroom Scale Collector Gifts

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"I started a collection!"

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'Cool! Where'd you learn the new step?'

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

No room to hang his diploma.

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

Maple syrup and milk collection.

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

More Education Needed

"Wot? No toilet paper?"

"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

And if you go for your Masters', we'll throw in your PH.D. at no extra charge.

Bowel movement in D minor.

Don't ask. Just get me the @#^$ out of here. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-03-11).

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

"Having an MBA from a prestigious college is quite impressive. However, we're looking for someone with basic computer skills."

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."