Bathroom Salesmen Pillows

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

Love conquers all, except plaque.

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

Gender Specific Bath Towels (Hers)

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Duck in a bathtub

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'The old one fell apart.'

Kid's at Bath Time.

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

'You don't hear the bath water running because I'm taking a sponge bath, mom.'

Other men just sing in the bath

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

Woman sees towels with 'Mine' on all of them

"How do you plead - quilty or not quilty?"

'Have you considered a second bathroom?'

"Wash and Quo"

'It's perfect! An indoor bathroom! How did you know?'

'Mom, you did say it is a bath robe.'

"I'm having an en-suite put in."

"The ideal holiday car, with a special option for when you're stuck in traffic jams!"

Luxury Lavatories - The Home of Qualitative Easing

'The snake and plunger didn't work, so I'm going in...'

This toilet is thoroughly cleaned once a week. Sadly it's tomorrow.

'Ahoy there! We've been adrift for three weeks. Can we come aboard and use your toilet?'

Windscreen wiper on mirror to clean mess from youth squeezing spots

'It has three bathrooms and not one set of scales.'