Bathroom Beauty Gifts

Mummy Toilet Roll.

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

"The blow drier is broken."

Batman tissue dispenser.

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

Twenty Blades Razor

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

WC problem.

Gender Specific Bath Towels (Hers)

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'The old one fell apart.'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Junior's Towel

Kid's at Bath Time.

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

How to recover from a bad day

How men shop for towels.

"The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber with the second bathroom saved our marriage."

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

Prehistoric Graffito

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'