Bat-wielding Philosophers Gifts

'There's more to life than winning. There's also testing negative for steroids.'

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

'You're right: Her radar signature is fabulous!'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Bats with blankets.

"I didn't find out quite what I wanted about the economics of democracy but I did find an interesting article about the mating habits of the Patagonian Fruit Bat."

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

A Bat walking a tightrope upside down.

"All of the economic indicators I've seen are pointing up."

"Something nocturnal."

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

"Sorry I'm late -- I was checking my clock upside down."

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

'Cosmic!'

"Who's the artist?"

"I was curious, so I went to the University to listen to a course on Radar techniques..."

Bat

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."

"Drones are copying the way we fly. We need legal representation."

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

Keeper in the bat house asleep upside down.

'Be back by 5 AM, and NO texting while echolocating!'

'Hello? Animal control?'

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

I'm Going For A Job As A Coat Hangar.