Bat-wielding Philosophers Gifts

'There's more to life than winning. There's also testing negative for steroids.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

'You're right: Her radar signature is fabulous!'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Bats with blankets.

"I didn't find out quite what I wanted about the economics of democracy but I did find an interesting article about the mating habits of the Patagonian Fruit Bat."

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

A Bat walking a tightrope upside down.

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"All of the economic indicators I've seen are pointing up."

"Something nocturnal."

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

"Sorry I'm late -- I was checking my clock upside down."

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

"Who's the artist?"

'Cosmic!'

"I was curious, so I went to the University to listen to a course on Radar techniques..."

Bat

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."

"Drones are copying the way we fly. We need legal representation."

'Be back by 5 AM, and NO texting while echolocating!'

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

'Hello? Animal control?'

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

Keeper in the bat house asleep upside down.

"Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

"Do you have this in rubber?"