Basketball Superstar Gifts

'Actually... She is the best hooker out there.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Church for sports worshipers.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

Gary turns 40.

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

"How should we divide the teams?"

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

The Salmon Run

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

Why moms make bad refs.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"I love fast break business success."

Basketball

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!