Basketball Superstar Gifts

'Actually... She is the best hooker out there.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Church for sports worshipers.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

Gary turns 40.

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

The Salmon Run

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

'Let's go over our secret play.'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Brad discovers what can happen when you don't wash your gym clothes...

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

"I love fast break business success."

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

Playing pig

Basketball

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Why moms make bad refs.

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!